Living Large
Hatha yoga isn't just for the slim and slinky. A few basic modifications can make its gifts--flexibility, balance, strength,
stress reduction, and increased awareness--accessible to every body.
By Carrie Peyton Dahlberg
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Midway through her first yoga class, Kay Erdwinn wanted desperately to disappear.
Erdwinn had come to the class, not far from her Southern California neighborhood, in search of a noncompetitive, inwardly focused way to exercise. Instead, she found a teacher who demanded that she upend her five-foot-two-inch, 260-pound body into Halasana (Plow Pose).
The teacher hunkered down beside her on his hands and knees, egging her on like an overadrenalized sports coach: "Come on, come on, you can do it," he barked. Each yell made her feel more inadequate and humiliated. Erdwinn, then 23, didn't have enough self-confidence to gently tell the teacher what she was thinking: "I know you want me to do these asanas really well, but I am not here to compete and get really aggressive." She fumbled though the class as best as she could, then ran for the nearest door and never came back. "The whole thing scared me away," she recalls.
But Erdwinn didn't stay scared. She still wanted to find a meditative movement practice. In addition, she had fibromyalgia and had read that yoga might help relieve the muscle pain, sleep disturbances, and chronic fatigue that accompanied it. Erdwinn tried practicing from a book, checked out a few classes in nearby health clubs, and finally, years later, found the class her instincts had always told her must exist.
Unlike her first experience, this class was small and warm and welcoming. The instructor, trained in Ananda Yoga, began each session with meditation, offered advice gently without singling anyone out, and routinely told her students that if any asana didn't feel possible, they should feel free to explore ways they could make it work for them.
Erdwinn felt as if she'd come home. The classes offered her the meditative, spiritual atmosphere she'd been hoping to find. As she practiced, she grew stronger, more flexible, and less easily winded. She didn't lose weight, but she felt much healthier. And, she says, yoga has put her in much better touch with her body. "Being very aware of my body has been a tremendous gift," she observes, noting that this awareness has grounded her, emotionally and physically, and provided a number of benefits in her everyday life, including greater relaxation and better posture.
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